Comparatively Speaking...

Well, I've officially been back in Tulsa for 8 days now. After living more or less outdoors for the past three and a half months, I am still getting used to living in a house with multiple ROOMS. A room for laundry, a room for cooking, a room for watching tv, a room for relaxing and reading a book, a room for painting, a few rooms for guests to stay in, a room for guests to shower and use the bathroom, a room to draw and use the computer, a room to sleep in, a room for my cars and tools, and my very own bathroom!

Wow. All of a sudden, I have a lot of rooms vying for my attention.

I've started making a couple of lists. One, of things here in the house in Tulsa that I didn't realize I'd taken for granted. The other, a list of things that I thought I'd surely miss or be miserable without, but apparently aren't of great importance after all. So which do I prefer - a house in Tulsa or alternative living in Flagstaff? A combination of the two would be lovely, but of course, impossible. Good thing I don't have to make that decision just yet. 

Things in Tulsa that I Didn’t Realize I Had Taken For Granted 

1. The feeling of clean carpet underneath my bare feet
For over 3 months, I had worn my beloved Chaco flip-flops everywhere, even in the shower. The only time I didn’t wear them was when I was wearing my jogging shoes, or when I went to bed at night. So when I got home, I flipped off my flops to walk across my living room. Mom and Dad had cleaned the carpets a few times while we were gone, so it smelled like a new apartment inside (that’s a good thing). I stepped onto the carpet and my feet just melted on top of the air-conditioning cooled, clean carpet. Ahhhhhhh.

2. Steam from opening a dishwasher that has just finished the dry cycle.
Edwina was lovely and accomodating, but dishes were washed by hand and dried by AIR! No lemon-scented steam baths :( Mmmmmm.

Things That I Don’t Really Miss that I Thought I Would

1. Hot showers
I haven’t turned the gas back on in the house yet. Why? Because ONG wanted to charge us $40 a month while we were out of town. The only option, other than bending over to pay it, was to shut it off for 6 months, and then they would only charge me a one-time $35 to turn it back on. Why must it be 6 months? Because that is the ONG way. And probably because they noticed that there are people who move away temporarily for the summer, and that is usually a maximum of 4 months that they don’t get their little payday from you. So why wouldn’t they want to just let you turn it off for 4 months, then they’d be making more money because you’d be turning it back on sooner, right?!?! Hmmm. Actually, they’d make more money if you just decided to bend over and pay it for the 4 months that you’re gone. So, for that reason, and not because I can’t afford it, I refuse to turn the gas on until November. By the way, if I turn it on before 6 months, they charge me $40 a month for every month that it was turned off. And if I turn it off at 6 months, they only charge me $35 one time. I’m 4 months in, and I'm not backing down now! (ONG appreciates your business. And by "appreciates" I mean "date rapes".)
 
Plus, right now the water just isn’t that cold so it’s kind of a non-issue to me. I don’t know if the occasional cold shower that I took this summer had anything to do with the evolution of this superhero ability to tolerate cold water running down my back everyday, but I don’t mind my showers at all. And bonus: I actually look better when I get out of a cold shower. Yes, but that's not why. My skin is tighter and not as red and splotchy. With hot showers, I’m always red and splotchy until I put lotion on and cool down. So there. Enjoy those mental images, like pouring bleach in your mind's eye. I don’t miss hot showers.

2. Television
As much as I wanted to not miss television, I was positive that I would. Turns out, my wish was granted. I came home almost completely NUMB to my $10.99/month Dish Network programming that I decided to leave on in our absence. I decided to leave it on because my only other option was to “suspend” service while we were gone. But I’m under contract with these guys, so I decided that I’d rather be that much closer to ending said contract, which the suspension wouldn’t do. (There is a special place for the CEOs of ONG and Dish Network, and I hear it's hot there...so enjoy your showers, gentlemen! Mua-haha!!)

I digress. So the programming stayed, albeit in the form of cheapest programming package available on Earth. In truth, I have watched my fair share of television since getting back to Tulsa, but not more than an hour or so each day. In fact, the only thing I really try to catch is the 3 back-to-back episodes of The Golden Girls each night on the Hallmark Channel. Side note: I have thus far been unsuccessful in recruiting any fans for this wonderful show, which is more comforting to me than the biggest bowl of macaroni and cheese in the world, but that’s okay by me. I am proud of my GG obsession regardless of my lack of peer supports. (But seriously people, are you just lying to me? How can you not love those crazy old ladies?! Sex, cheesecake and St. Olaf jokes?!?! Vintage Betty White?! Gah!)

So there you have it, further evidence of my weirdness: I don't watch tv*, I prefer cold showers, and going barefoot on carpet and opening the dishwasher are special treats. Let me know when you want to hang out. I know how to party.

*Watching GG doesn't count, I have it on DVD. No, you may not borrow.