Happy Tom's Clown Hour Update!

Welcome to Happy Tom’s Clown Hour, where we put purdy pictures with our words! 

Like this one!

As I mentioned last week, Mount Elden is basically our backyard. We’ve been hiking and exploring here and there, but we were all eager to do more. So this past Saturday, we packed up plenty of water and lip balm and set out for the summit! And, thanks to the Happy Tom’s Clown Hour staff photographer, the picture above proves we made it! It also provides hard evidence that Keith takes pictures, too ;) Here’s more: 

In Flagstaff, the elevation is 7000 feet. Mount Elden is 9,299 feet so, I’m sure you can all do the math. Not the highest mountain in the world, or even in Arizona, but it was an appropriate challenge for the three of us given our spare tires. Or, as I prefer to call them, “training wheels”. If we keep this up, they’ll eventually come off :)  

 

It was extremely windy, and a constant climb. We took a moderate amount of breaks to drink water, breathe, and just take in the awesome views. 

 Snow! Willie and Casper were very thankful for the impromptu snow tasting session.

 Here's Keith walking around on top.

And here's Rando guy up on top. Ok. Good for him for getting out and climbing a mountain today, seriously. Why am I picking on him? Because while he was dorking out going through his Cobra Kai sequences, he kept glaring at us. Leave this dojo now! He’d do a few moves and then whip around and look at us real quick, how dare that we were there when he was there. We’d try to look away real fast, but he busted us every time. Checking out his sweet moves. He scowls. Refocuses. Then, more moves! More glaring at us, throwing the double stink-eye, then…ROUNDHOUSE! Forget about it. Now you bow to your sensei! Anyway, I had to go high and tight to sneak this picture of him. Not that good of a shot, I realize, but his ninja lightning was near impossible to capture. I took another one of him throwing his little fists of fury but it was completely blurred. Dragonfire Rando.

Official readings from Willie’s Weather Ears confirmed what we already knew – this was not your Grandma’s wind! Ha, gross. Poor choice of words. I’m leaving it.  

We made it! 

And despite the high winds and Dragonfire Rando, we took our time on top - enjoying our conquest and resting up for the journey back down.

Later:

Greg and I did laundry. This might seem like a non-issue to you, but he really enjoyed himself. Here he is, showing off his accuracy and speed throwing wet clothes into the dryers. 

Fact: I’ve been blowing my nose a lot ever since we got here, so there are wads of tissue in most of my pockets. I accidentally forgot to check a few, so those ended up in the wash, then subsequently, the dryer. Two of my imprisoned tissue wads then fled my pockets and attached themselves to Greg’s black fleece, and that’s the story of how laundry stopped being fun for Greg. 

Also, I got ID’d twice last week. I swear they're just using my hair color and Southern accent as an excuse to shake me down and pin something on me! This darn racial state! Aaand, that was a joke. Okay? So I got ID'd twice - the first time was right after I’d suspiciously ordered an iiiiced tea (with no lemon), and the second was when I was buying special beer at the Safeway per special request of special Greggles. I showed them my Oklahoma ID. Oklahoma doesn’t have a magnetic strip on the back of their ID’s, so the clerk couldn’t run it through their tiny government machine. Long story short – no one knew what to do and hassles ensued. I finally got the special beer. Which remains untouched in the fridge as of press time.

Dog Update – the dogs have each had a bath since being here, and it might be their last for the summer. Complete waste of time. They are filthy and vile and completely undisturbed by it. It’s not even debatable. And I think Willie ate a pinecone a few days ago. Not sure how that worked out for her. We put a tarp down outside the camper so they’d have an option other than “bed of dirt” (for sleeping, not passing pinecones). Another complete waste of time. Unless they are tangled up in leashes and are therefore unable to reach their beloved dirt, they lie in the dirt as much as possible. Dirt girls.

Keith and I started work at the campground this week. We escort campers to their sites, and we get to drive a fun little golf-cart. Pretty easy, and the people are great. This VW guy and his wife stayed last night, and all I can say is, “I can see my future, and I'm going to paint my Volkswagen to match it”. Just like this guy. How cool is this?!

Which brings me to the Greggles VW Update! Greg has put another bus up for sale in Oklahoma. He decided that since he’s got so many lined up back there and, can't work on them from Arizona, he’d go ahead and part with the 71 Deluxe “Casper” bus. She’s in pretty good shape and runs, she just needs someone to love her!  

Greg also got to take a field trip to rescue a Vanagon couple. They were on their way to the Grand Canyon. Apparently they were campers here in Flag and had just left that morning. They got on the road, broke down, then called back to the KOA...and the Greggles was dispatched in a flash! Not to worry, the Bus Whisperer and swift action on the part of the KOA switchboard saved their vacation from certain doom. For the vanagain ran again! And as for The Bus Stop, it seems to be moving right along. Customer cars are in the shop and word continues to spread of the new air-cooled VW shop in town. Greg comes home tired and filthy every night. Might need another Scooby Doo sleeping bag. Much like Willie and Casper, his showers also seem like a questionable investment of time. ;)

And finally, we had a very cool night last night. When we first decided to come out here for the summer, I looked online to see what kinds of music shows and fun stuff were coming through town. There’s a music hall called the Orpheum, so I was on their website and noticed that they were having a “Big Trouble in Little China” movie night on Tuesday, May 25th. So last night we headed downtown to check it out. I forgot just how exquisitely kickass that movie is! Kurt Russell is great. Tank top tucked into tight blue jeans and big moccasin boots over the jeans. He’s a trucker and the name of his rig is The Pork Chop Express. Those jeans must’ve hit two inches above his belly button, and he actually looked visibly uncomfortable during most of the action scenes. But whether it was just great acting and part of the character shtick or the actual discomfort of the jeans, I’ll never know. Here are a few stills from the movie. If you haven’t seen this in awhile…or ever…just forgive yourself and go rent it. It’s a classic:

I wonder if our Dragonfire Rando was in the crowd? Something tells me a guy like him would have no appreciation for this John Carpenter masterpiece. Also inside the theatre is a full bar, if you need a little drinky. So there are some round tables in the back, regular theatre-style seating in front of that, and I believe just an open floor in the very front. We'll be back to the Orpheum in a little under a month to see Henry Rollins.

After the movie, we walked over to the Beaver St. Brewery and got some food. In our rush to make the movie, none of us had eaten dinner. Cool place, and they have a real-food late night menu that isn’t all frozen then deep-fried toasted cardboard.

We came back to camp and stayed up talking for a bit before bed. Keith was talking about what it would be like to be a guy like Kurt Russell’s character, Jack Burton.  He's a truck-driver, tied to no one and no thing other than his rig, just livin’ on the road one adventure after another. He decided that in real life, Jack Burton would be the guy who was always getting into some sort of trouble that he considered "fun", but was nonetheless “trouble” in the eyes of the law and therefore criminal. Then he’d move on as soon as the adventure was over, providing that he wasn’t incarcerated. So then Keith said he was going to put an ad in the paper that just read “Keith Earickson – Adventurer” and a phone number. When people call, he’ll explain that he’ll accompany them on adventures of their choosing. All they have to do is pay his way. I know he was joking, but I think he should do it just to see if anyone calls and what their adventures are. Could also be a good idea for a book or a documentary.

Quick Edwina Update - Greg repaired the migratory mystery leak! And he didn't have to bust up any of the nice floor or trim that my dad had installed. So now we've got a dry bathroom floor and Cat-Town remains remarkably stylish. Hurrah!

  We also took out the entire wall that had the corkboard on it. It's a lot easier to move around in here now, and I think it looks nicer. Please ignore the storage area on the upper bunk, and yes I'm making a curtain to hide all of that bisnass.

Thanks for tuning into Happy Tom's Clown Hour! That's all for now, pals!

Flagsfatt

Remember what I said last week about updating every Sunday? Turns out I actually have so much to do I didn’t have time to write an update yesterday!

I personally hate to read anything longer than a Post-It note, but I do love to talk, which, on paper translates to a whole lotta readin’ for anyone kind enough to visit my blog. So I’ll try to make this as quick and as low-fat as possible.

Test night Monday – Greg was still in Bartlesville trying to exorcise all of the demons from the Cheeto, so I slept in the trailer with both dogs and Finn. Contrary to popular belief, dog farts aren’t cut. They’re sliced after curing in vats of rotten eggs and aging for up to eight years. Incense is going to be essential for survival this summer.

We didn’t get to leave Tulsa until Wednesday morning, which actually turned out to be some prime timing because Tuesday, I got a nice surprise in the mail. Nice surprises never come in the mail. Any guessers??? Well, the Harrah Swindlers sent me a check for $200 to get the trailer tagged. I’m still in shock. I don’t know if I should feel guilty for pestering them or proud of myself for getting a result. I quickly decided that I’m at peace with it. Edwina made it to Arizona and she's legal. I've got the papers to prove it.

Moments before departure on Wednesday – Finn threw up an entire bail of hay. I assumed that meant he was now ready to travel. After loading the kayak and canoe, we took off just in time to miss the woeful welcome of Oklahoma storm season. We escaped unscathed.

Wednesday night…stayed in Tucumcari, NM again…hardly worth mentioning…stopped at some gas station for coffee and took this picture of the bananas. Seems like an excessive amount to plop up on the counter there, makes me wonder why no one else is buying them. I didn't buy any either despite the sweet deal they were offering. Anyway, got back on the road and arrived in Flagstaff around 10 p.m. Thursday. We set up official summer residence in slot # 1!

 

 

Friday and Saturday I spent mostly unpacking and arranging everything. Greg was busy moving into his spot in the new shop and learning how to use Quickbooks, haha. Sorry, it's just that he has always refused to use Quicken with me, and now he has to use it everyday at work. Splendid justice. Also on Saturday, I got out on my bike and rode over to the UPS Store to check the mailbox. Nothing. Where are my postcards and care packages, people?! It was about a 10 mile ride, and I had either a bike lane or pathfinder to follow the entire way. It’s like that all over town. If I don’t finally get in shape this summer, I truly have no one and no thing to blame other than myself.

Sunday was the busiest day I’ve had in a long time. We got up, ate some breakfast, showered and headed to the Grand Opening cookout for The Bus Stop. I finally got to meet the shop owner and Greg’s new boss, Mickey, as well as a good deal of the local VW community. VW people are always good people, and it was good times indeed. Perfect weather, good food, and everyone made us feel very welcome. I made a lot of new acquaintances and got a chance to talk to a lot of people about the job market out here. Most said it was still bleak, but from looking at the jobs listed on Craigslist alone, I know there are at least more jobs available than in Tulsa. Now, if I can just wrangle myself into one. I had already applied for a bunch of jobs in and around Flagstaff on Saturday, so we’ll see what happens. And that is the last I will say about any sort of job search update until I am officially hired somewhere :)

 

I just realized this update is not low-fat at all. Seems my attempt at cutting the fat fails in the blog realm as well. Sorry.

Back to Sunday…we’re having a great time visiting with everyone when Greg gets a phone call. HE SOLD THE CHEETO! Thank God. I mean, really. We were both literally drunk with relief. Details to be ironed out soon, but the buyer is a guy from Canada and he has no idea that this bus is on a mission from beyond the Inferno to drive him insane. I’m just kidding. It’s a great bus and I’m sad to see it go. On a related note, I just can’t wait to stick needles in my eyes. See ya Cheeto! Wouldn't wanna be ya!

After the cookout we hiked Mt. Elden, which we can access by walking about 50 feet from our campsite. It was so beautiful I didn’t even notice the workout. Well, that’s a lie. I’m really not in fighting form so I was bellyaching about getting left behind as I huffed and puffed and clicked away with the camera. Pictures don’t do it justice, but here’s a few anyway.

 

 

And just for good measure, we decided to test our joints and muscles even more by riding our bikes all the way downtown. I’m looking forward to the day when I’m in shape so I can enjoy doing all of these activities as much as I should. Downtown is a long way from the campsite, and to our delight it seemed that all the motorists on the roads could not have cared less about us. We went to the Flagstaff Brewery and split some Poon-tin, Greg and Keith had a few pints, then we zipped up the jackets and got back on our bikes.

We took a different route home, which climbed uphill for about the first 2 miles. Needless to say, we were walking most of that. But it was beautiful and we were in no hurry. The light pollution was minimal if any, and the sky was filled with stars. In that moment, I got a little lump in my throat as it sunk in that we weren’t in Oklahoma anymore. But even though we were cold and miles from our campsite without the creature comfort of a car, it was exactly where we all wanted to be. I had just said to Greg and Keith, “Oh my God, look at that sky”.

We all took in a long peaceful gaze upwards as we continued to push our bikes uphill, when a pickup truck flew by. The engine sounded like a whale fart and a booming male voice blustered, "YOU FUCKING LOSERS GET A CAR! GET A FUCKING JOB YOU LOSERS!” Dammit our moment was over. Damn it.
 
We all erupted into laughter almost instantly. And there it was: living, belching proof that rednecks live in Arizona, too. It was the perfect end to a great day.   

Quick Edwina Update – our migratory mystery leak has moved from under the shower to under the sink. Otherwise, all is sweet and solid. We installed her official nameplate, and Prickly Pete the trailer-warming cactus adds the perfect cozy desert vibe.

Miscellaneous Update - this could also be called the Peter Griffin "This Really Grinds My Gears" Update...a little over a week ago I gave my email address to my HOA back in Tulsa for the new neighborhood directory. Since then, I’ve gotten no less than two emails a day from them about lost dogs, found dogs, and various other irritating and overkill uses of a mass email list. Oh, this just in, I just got another one from them as I sit here typing. This last one is thanking all of us who sent out the emails about the lost/found dogs and those who replied to them, and then telling people to tag their dogs. After that came a long and detailed paragraph targeted especially toward any idiot who doesn't know that Southern Agriculture (pet superstore) is right around the corner. One would have to be a complete shut-in to not know there’s a Southern Ag within 2 minutes by foot, and the shut-ins aren't going to go there anyway. Anyway, it ended with an awesome ad someone had copied and pasted for some fundraiser in Jenks. I didn’t read what it was for, but I did see that it was sponsored in part by the ass-hats that run the radio station I used to work for. These are not the "letters from home" I enjoy reading, and it makes me want to start producing my bullets that kill people for 15 minutes. Or maybe a day.  

Dog Update - the dogs are very dirty. And Casper is still a lazy pooper. Unless she is directed otherwise, she'll poop 5 feet from the picnic table. I learned this the hard way when I was sitting in a lawn chair, enjoying a campfire, when an unidentified poo stench filled the perimeter. It was so strong we were sure one of us had either stepped in poo or farted so terribly it was beyond admission. But nope. There it was, 5 feet away, steaming with pride and watching us like the money we could be saving with Geico. Bad Casper.

Ok, that’s all I got for now! Toodles!

Ready for the Road

I was getting caught up on my brother’s blog this week, and I decided to improve a few things about this one. For starters, I plan on posting just one update each week. It’ll be a clean, concise, timely and hopefully interesting little “hello there, here’s what we’ve been doing”. Think of it like that Sunday night phone call to your parents to let them know you’re still breathing. So there you have it, once a week you’ll hear from me. And when you do, at the very least you'll know I’m still breathing. You can stop there, or, make the jump and read the blog.

I also decided to clean up some of the clutter on the page. No more links to our Facepages (DIE FACEBOOK!).

And lastly, I added a “page bar” at the top under our new and improved (but admittedly-still-not-that-great) header. More to come! I don’t want to add too much at once. I already blew my own mind making that header. And if you knew how hard I worked, you would feel really bad that you’re laughing at it, Jon Joyce.

:)

Well…it's almost time to leave for Flagstaff! I can’t speak for Greg, but I am nervous, excited, happy and sad. I’m nervous that I’m going to get out there and something major is going to go wrong. Like, one of my animals will escape and meet the grill of a Mack truck. Yes, to me, the tragic death of an animal is “something major”. I am equal parts animal lover and overactive worrywart. What else could go wrong, you ask? Well so far, I’ve supposed the possibilities of snake infestation, bear attacks, fire and robbers. Dog robbers? Well, just maybe. I’ve got good dogs. I’m completely irrational sometimes. I know this. And every time my mind starts to climb its magical beanstalk of scenarios, I try to talk my worries off the ledge. Then this little voice inside my head trumps all and says, “Better safe than sorry!” So I continue to let myself worry to the point I am almost afraid to leave the house. Or trailer. Haha, not really. No, really. This constant and unrelenting worry is part of the reason I finally decided to make this move to Flagstaff for the summer. The worry and caution I’ve exercised so far in my life has led me down a long road to the lower middle. So, I’m going to try and let go of some worry and baseless caution, and live life. What have I got to lose?

One thing I’m really looking forward to is riding my bike a lot. A LOT, as in, as much as possible and wherever possible. I hate to generalize, but motorists in Oklahoma tend to be very aggressive and intolerant of cyclists on their roads. I don’t know if it’s ignorance or intolerance, and it doesn’t really matter to me. What matters is that I’m tired of hearing people complain about “...well some guy on his BICYCLE, and I had to change LANES, and he needs to get OVER! MNUUUGGH!!!” I saw a ton of people in Flagstaff riding their bikes and the people in their cars did not seem agitated. So. That’s a good sign.

The other two emotions I’m feeling right now are happy and sad. I’m happy because I feel like we’re finally doing something about our seemingly endless streak of bad luck, as opposed to what we’ve been doing since losing our jobs 15 months ago. Which brings me to the sad part - sticking around Tulsa, looking for a job in vain, beating myself up about NOT finding a job, getting peeved about other people who do have jobs, and then filing for my unemployment claim each week. The weekly filing for unemployment benefits has become a huge, throbbing symbol of my continued struggle to feel like a functioning, intelligent adult again. Unemployment Benefits. What they’re supposed to be is a low dose of interim support in-between jobs, but it’s like a puddle I can’t quit stepping in. A puddle that makes me feel guilty and unlovable. And by unlovable, I mean unhireable. Oh sniff, sniff, waaaaaa. Enough crying about that. I was miserable at my last job and the one before it, too. The answer for me is likely not just a job. I obviously have other things to figure out as well. But a job, ANY job, would yield the necessary “scratch” to get back on my feet financially.

Moving on!

How ‘bout some more updates on Edwina!?! Dare I say, she is ready…

I spent most of the weekend packing my kitchen. It’s surprising how much storage space Edwina offers. We received a new microwave as a trailer-warming gift, so I took great pleasure in removing the old one. I also made Finn the cat a little kitty-walk to go up into the bunk area if he wants to escape up to his bean bag.

Slipcover on the sofa! 

 I also made myself the kitschiest Oklahoma pillow I could muster. Yes, its bedazzled.

I also made Greg a pillow :)

Greg painted a nice big brown stripe on the outside. I love it! It reminds me of the wood-paneled station wagons of my childhood friends. I think there are definitely more updates in store for the exterior…we’re think-tanking some ideas, so stay tuned.

And now for your weekly (daily, hourly?) dose of Greggles Volkswagen news…

Greg got the 73 Westy on the market this past week! He’s already had a handful of interested buyers, and is showing it to a few more people on Monday. It looks amazing! I’m sure it will have a new owner soon. It will be hard to say goodbye because this was the first interior that I'd ever sewn! How bittersweet it will be. Here are a few sweet pics of "The Cheeto".

Well folks, that about wraps it up for this week. My next update will be from Flagstaff!

Meet Edwina

About 3 weeks ago, we decided it was necessary to procure a summer home for Flagstaff. I started looking on Craigslist for RVs and trailers, and that's when I fell head-over-heels in love with the money pit that we've come to call "Edwina", aka "The High-Road Rascal". She's a 1972 Invader that we purchased from a pack of swindlers in Harrah, Oklahoma. 

As usual, I learn my lessons the hard way, and Edwina HRR has proven no exception. Thankfully, my parents know a thing or two about RVs, and dad especially has proven his worth in the repair department. Mom and I have been working on the interiors, painting, making curtains, reupholstering cushions and hanging pictures. Greg and Dad got to have all the fun replacing busted pipes and completely rebuilding the bathroom floor, among other things. Thanks to good attitudes, hard work and Lowe's, we're almost done. I think. And...it's been fun!

 

You can see how excited Greg was to get started! At this point we thought everything worked and all we had to do was make curtains, clean it up and recover the cushions. Then...

 

There was a toilet, but I think we're better off with this hole.

  

New floor! Thanks, Dad!

Shower pan back in, new supports, tile and paint! Much better.

 The bedroom/couch area "before" shot. 

This is also where I waged war with all of the ants. Message to ant world: you squat in my summer home, you die!

 The bedroom/couch "after" shot. 

Notice the lovely air-conditioner is out of sight until we need it (hopefully NEVER). I still have the sofa/bed left to redo, and I'm debating whether I should paint the wood-grain. Part of me is drawn to the kitsch of it, part of me wants to paint it. In the end, it'll probably depend on how much time, energy and money I have left. In other words, the wood grain likely stays.

Kitchen countertops "before". 

Yes, that is sticky-back tile!

 AFTER! 

I found some formica at the Habitat for Humanity ReStore, and thankfully my dad (a Habitat builder/volunteer) knew how to do formica. Major improvement! This is also a new countertop that he made for us, the previous one was made out of particle board...

Kitchen nook "before". 

No curtains, aquafart blue cushions, white tabletop, and my favorite - the mirror-tiled dividing wall.  

Yay! Curtains and cushions and corkboard! Also, not pictured, but dad covered the white table in formica to match the new countertops. We've already installed the Tulsa VW calendar on the corkboard :) 

Anyone who knows Greg also knows how he feels about whitewall tires and freakshow wheels. 

I must admit, I admire his conviction. This looks much better.